Today’s rumours have a few of their own, mind

The Mill has spent the best part of this morning, as it always does, idly flicking through the pages of a glamour magazine. Don’t leap to judge: copying down all these stories gets so goddamn lonely after a while. And anyway, you’ll be glad this is the sort of thing the Mill gets up to, because otherwise how would we have known about the latest Brentian bon mot from Phil Brown? Upon being asked by Zoo whether he has any regrets – the pep talks, the karaoke sessions, the tan – the increasingly likeable Hull manager responded with this pithy maxim:

“I don’t drink pints of hindsight. I drink pints of Guinness.”

Short of going out on to the pitch and belting out selections from the Great French Songbook, Brown couldn’t make it any clearer that he doesn’t give a single trill what any of us think about him. To this end, the piece is illustrated by a flagrantly rheumy-eyed portrait suggesting a couple of Pints O’Piaf might have been contemplated at some point in the none-too-distant past. You have to hope Hull stay up, because you’ll miss him when he’s gone.

He’ll Be Missed When He’s Gone #2: Wilson Palacios has told Harry Redknapp that he wants to continue wearing the pristine white colours of Tottenham Hotspur, but only if there’s a different badge stitched over the cock on his left nip. “I would like to play for Real Madrid,” says the only Spurs midfielder to put a proper tackle in since the days of Graham Roberts.

Plymouth Argyle plan to sell Home Park to their holding company for £7.5m in a bid to reduce debts. Hmm, anybody seen David Conn around?

Wolverhampton Wanderers have no chance of keeping hold of their striker Kevin Doyle, insists Mick McCarthy, whose eyes have long been trained to snap immediately into focus when surveying the sorry wreckage of relegation, despite all the tears refracting the light. Aston Villa, Fulham, Sunderland and Everton all plan to run off with Doyle as though he was a bag of sweeties in a DC Thomson cartoon. “Yoinks, now for a feast,” one of them will titter as they scarper down the road. “Bah! Ma bon-bons!” McCarthy will cry.

The Wigan striker Victor Moses wants to play for Nigeria in the World Cup. He’s “considering switching to Nigerian nationality”, according to the Mirror. As he was born in Lagos, and both his parents were from Lagos, it could be argued that there’s not actually much switching to do. Ah the panoramic England perspective, eh.

Manchester United fans will be unhappy to hear that their cherished central defensive partnership is about to be broken up: Sporting Lisbon’s Daniel Carrico is to be drafted in to replace either Kolo Touré or Joleon Lescott. Meanwhile Milan are interested in Touré and Lescott’s Manchester City team-mate Emmanuel Adebayor. In line with club policy, they’ll put a bid in for him in 2027.

Martin Atkinson is favourite to referee the FA Cup final. The Mill can’t remember which one he is, and certainly isn’t going to waste any time finding out.

Now, where’s that glamour magazine? The Mill is off for a long bath.

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Tottenham HotspurReal MadridScott Murrayguardian.co.uk

Fulham have become such a power at home this season that on the face of it Tottenham should be grateful for a second chance in their FA Cup quarter-final following Saturday’s scoreless encounter at Craven Cottage. Harry Redknapp, the Spurs manager, implied as much after the game but had the quality of his team’s finishing matched the slickness of their build-ups they might already be in the last four instead of facing a replay which could clog up their aim of finishing in the Premier League’s first four.

If the performance proved anything it was that while Peter Crouch and Roman Pavlyuchenko might be in excellent form individually they are not yet an item as an attacking partnership. The predatory instincts of Jermain Defoe, whose contribution was restricted by a hamstring problem to the last nine minutes, were badly missed as the Anglo-Russian pair struggled to maintain a tenuous link near goal. “We kept possession well enough although we didn’t create enough chances,” Redknapp admitted.

Yet the opportunity to create chances was always there and often stemmed from Gareth Bale’s consistency in outwitting Fulham’s defence on the left. The young Welshman has rarely played better. Normally he advances from left-back but here he was used as a wide man in midfield, which meant that the threat to Fulham was more immediate and occurred more often.

The frequency with which Bale reached the byline and switched the ball into the goalmouth with crosses which were more like rifle shots – and in sharp contrast to Vedran Corluka’s blunderbuss on the other flank – should have enabled Tottenham to achieve more scoring attempts than they did. And too many of those were off target.

In the end Spurs’ Brazilian goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes had a busier evening than Fulham’s Mark Schwarzer, particularly at the start of the second half when Roy Hodgson’s players managed to up their previously pedestrian tempo and get more people forward to support Bobby Zamora.

Gomes made a series of sharp saves, the best to keep out a goal-bound header from Zoltan Gera, and reaffirmed his status as a Premier League goalkeeper of genuine class. When he first arrived at White Hart Lane from PSV Eindhoven, Gomes appeared set on supporting the theory that in Brazil as in the playground the worst player goes in goal.

Redknapp’s first defeat in charge of Tottenham was the consequence of a howler by Gomes at Fulham in November last season. Yet the goalkeeper had established a reliable reputation at PSV so maybe it was just a matter of getting used to being bombarded from on high in the English game.

Either way, Redknapp was pleased his first impressions had not been borne out. “Gomes looked different to the goalkeeper who came here in 2008 when I first arrived,” he said. “He had a terrible time here but he’s a different lad now; full of confidence who looks what he is, a top keeper.”

For Fulham an FA Cup replay is equally unwelcome as they prepare to face Juventus over two legs in the Europa League, with the small matter of a visit to Manchester United in between.

Hodgson’s squad has already been stretched by injuries to such regulars as Andrew Johnson, Clint Dempsey, Paul Konchesky and John Paintsil, and the absence of Danny Murphy from midfield on Saturday was noticeable as Jonathan Greening struggled to pick up the pace.

Fulham confirmed they are a power in the Europa League when they knocked out last season’s Uefa Cup winners, Shakhtar Donetsk, and reaching the FA Cup semi-finals would further enhance Hodgson’s standing as a manufacturer of silk purses from the ears of porcine females. Fulham, too, might already be there had Zamora, having finally escaped the stifling attentions of Sébastien Bassong, not dragged his shot wide five minutes from the end.

FA CupFulhamTottenham HotspurHarry RedknappRoy HodgsonDavid Laceyguardian.co.uk