Today’s rumours have a few of their own, mind
The Mill has spent the best part of this morning, as it always does, idly flicking through the pages of a glamour magazine. Don’t leap to judge: copying down all these stories gets so goddamn lonely after a while. And anyway, you’ll be glad this is the sort of thing the Mill gets up to, because otherwise how would we have known about the latest Brentian bon mot from Phil Brown? Upon being asked by Zoo whether he has any regrets – the pep talks, the karaoke sessions, the tan – the increasingly likeable Hull manager responded with this pithy maxim:
“I don’t drink pints of hindsight. I drink pints of Guinness.”
Short of going out on to the pitch and belting out selections from the Great French Songbook, Brown couldn’t make it any clearer that he doesn’t give a single trill what any of us think about him. To this end, the piece is illustrated by a flagrantly rheumy-eyed portrait suggesting a couple of Pints O’Piaf might have been contemplated at some point in the none-too-distant past. You have to hope Hull stay up, because you’ll miss him when he’s gone.
He’ll Be Missed When He’s Gone #2: Wilson Palacios has told Harry Redknapp that he wants to continue wearing the pristine white colours of Tottenham Hotspur, but only if there’s a different badge stitched over the cock on his left nip. “I would like to play for Real Madrid,” says the only Spurs midfielder to put a proper tackle in since the days of Graham Roberts.
Plymouth Argyle plan to sell Home Park to their holding company for £7.5m in a bid to reduce debts. Hmm, anybody seen David Conn around?
Wolverhampton Wanderers have no chance of keeping hold of their striker Kevin Doyle, insists Mick McCarthy, whose eyes have long been trained to snap immediately into focus when surveying the sorry wreckage of relegation, despite all the tears refracting the light. Aston Villa, Fulham, Sunderland and Everton all plan to run off with Doyle as though he was a bag of sweeties in a DC Thomson cartoon. “Yoinks, now for a feast,” one of them will titter as they scarper down the road. “Bah! Ma bon-bons!” McCarthy will cry.
The Wigan striker Victor Moses wants to play for Nigeria in the World Cup. He’s “considering switching to Nigerian nationality”, according to the Mirror. As he was born in Lagos, and both his parents were from Lagos, it could be argued that there’s not actually much switching to do. Ah the panoramic England perspective, eh.
Manchester United fans will be unhappy to hear that their cherished central defensive partnership is about to be broken up: Sporting Lisbon’s Daniel Carrico is to be drafted in to replace either Kolo Touré or Joleon Lescott. Meanwhile Milan are interested in Touré and Lescott’s Manchester City team-mate Emmanuel Adebayor. In line with club policy, they’ll put a bid in for him in 2027.
Martin Atkinson is favourite to referee the FA Cup final. The Mill can’t remember which one he is, and certainly isn’t going to waste any time finding out.
Now, where’s that glamour magazine? The Mill is off for a long bath.
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Tottenham HotspurReal MadridScott Murrayguardian.co.uk
