Today’s spillage leaves an indelible stain
Leading environmentalists have praised Arsène Wenger for vowing to contest tonight’s Champions League quarter-final with a side made up mainly of recycled or previously discarded players. Wenger has been a long-time advocate of clubs reducing their playing resources so as to minimise their impact on competitions and his salvaging of Sol Campbell and Mikaël Silvestre from football’s scrapheap has been cited by Friends of the Earth as a best practice akin to Rafael Benítez’s sagacious use of free transfers, Dimitar Berbatov’s highly advanced energy conservation technique and El-Hadji Diouf’s organic fertiliser spray.
Word is Wenger was tempted to enrich his injury-depleted squad upon his arrival at Barcelona airport yesterday after spotting an agile-looking baggage-handler but the ever-idealistic Frenchman instead decided to believe that Manuel Almunia can have a full game like the first 45 minutes he had last week. And that’s good news for Arsenal fans: because word is that Wenger has told his employers that if Arsenal win the Champions League or the Premier League this season he is going to retire.
Wenger would consider such a triumph his finest achievement and a supreme vindication of his methods, and would step down satisfied that he has left his successor a squad capable of dominating for years to come. Who will that lucky successor be? Wenger has reputedly put in a good word for Laurent Blanc, who, coincidentally, is also French and also set to be eliminated from the Champions League this week.
Blanc is going to be in high demand this summer. Not only will the France job be his if he wants it, but also three of the most prestigious posts in England are about to be vacated – well, two, in the event of Wenger staying on at Arsenal until he feels his mission has been accomplished. Manchester City will be hiring a new figurehead and they’ll go for Blanc if José Mourinho turns them down. But José Mourinho won’t turn them down, especially when he hears that City are already close to agreeing deals for Wolfsburg striker Edin Dzeko and Hamburg central defender Jerome Boateng, who’s also being courted by Chelsea and Real Madrid.
But Blanc will be invited to take the Liverpool job once Rafael Benítez skedaddles. It is unsure whether he will accept it, however, since the whole point of leaving Ligue 1 is to go to a club with the money to buy the best players in the world and Blanc wants assurances that Liverpool belong in that category. Not to worry: Messers Hicks and Gillett have a cunning back-up plan, one sure to endear to the Kop at last – if Blanc turns them down, they will instead enthrone Liverpool legend Steve Nicol, currently masterminding untold success at New England Revoluton. And by ‘untold’ we mean ‘hardly worth mentioning’.
Major League Soccer will get over that loss by recruiting some marquee pensioners, namely Thierry Henry, Luís Figo and Patrick Vieira.
Harry Redknapp, meanwhile, will get over the disappointment of Tottenham’s capitulation in the stilted run for the Champions League spots by doing business with Aston Villa, whose collapse has been even sorrier and who want to buy Robbie Keane for £11m, if you don’t mind. Redknapp will then sell Gareth Bale to Juventus for £14m and take a long, hard laugh in the mirror.
Manchester United have not collapsed, but their empire is surely crumbling and they face another summer of modest investment. Sir Alex Ferguson’s grand plan for rejuvenating his midfield is to attempt to lure Mohamed Diamé from Wigan, from whom he may also attempt to prise Hugo Rodallega, though Everton and Arsenal are also on the Colombian’s case. So United will end up trying to cadge Karim Benzema on loan from Real Madrid.
David Moyes meanwhile is set to lure Kevin Prince-Boateng from Portsmouth for a knock-down fee, while canny Mick McCarthy will collect Nadir Belhadj and then rest him for daunting trips to Old Trafford.
ArsenalManchester CityLiverpoolMajor League SoccerAston VillaTottenham HotspurPaul Doyleguardian.co.uk
