Today’s prattle knows what time it is: Late O’Clock
It was while leaning with its back and the sole of one foot against a wall outside its local amusement arcade that a teenage Mill was given what turned out to be the worst piece of career advice it has ever heard. “STOP HANGING AROUND AND GET A JOB, YOU MANGY LOAFER!” roared some concerned citizen, to which your obviously very cool Mill responded by flicking back its dangerously long fringe with pointed nonchalance, while taking great care not to distort its well-practised expression of cynical weariness. Only now does a smarter reply stagger to mind: hanging around is an important part of the job-getting process. What other conclusion can we draw from mutters that, following reported interest from Manchester United last week, Sol Campbell has now lounged his way on to the wish-list of Chelsea? From idle to idol in no steps, that that’s the way to do it.
That’s not all either. Petr Cech will be off to Aston Villa or Sunderland in January. Chelsea want to replace him with West Ham’s Robert Green.
The Campbell method appears to be catching. For today if Russian inactivist Roman Pavlyuchenko bothers to open his eyes, he will read reports linking him with a move from Tottenham Hotspur to … Arsenal. It could be that such reports are designed solely to give this forgotten player the gift of recognition on the occasion of his 28th birthday, or to prompt Harry Redknapp to do same, or perhaps to put about the idea that Arsène Wenger is keen on partnering Pavlyuchenko with Andrey Arshavin just to show that such a forward-line can be devastating and that any manager who can’t find a degree of success with it should not be held in such high esteem in England so how about the media stops championing Guus Hiddink for every top job weeks after he guided Russia to elimination from the World Cup by a country with the population of the shoe that the fabled Old Lady lived in?
On the subject of Spurs pariahs, word is Redknapp will not keep Wolves from the door when they come prowling for David Bentley. Elsewhere in London, quite how Crystal Palace will react when Barcelona come calling for Victor Moses is anyone’s guess – the Mill reckons it’ll be a swoon followed by an outstretched hand, then a wave goodbye to one of England’s finest young talents, who’ll be off to finish his education in the best football learning centre on the planet.
Speaking of excellent football learning centres … actually, that segue might not wash any more … all the Mill wanted to say was is that cash-strapped West Ham are off to a Liverpool bureau de change to convert Scott Parker into £3m.
Finally, Arsenal and Manchester United are squabbling over Standard Liège’s £15m midfielder Steven Defour in January, Blackburn want James Beattie, and Martin O’Neill plans to give Aston Villa’s Champions League drive a decisive boost by liberating Fabrice Muamba from Bolton, who’ll get Nigel Reo-Coker and kind regards in return.
